So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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