he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
