How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
