Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
