Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
