So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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