I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
