so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
