I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need water and some morals
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
