What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
