guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is wine microwaveable?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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