It was confusing and full of hummus
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
