How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
