i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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