my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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