1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
