i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
high people should be assigned attendants
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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