I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
