You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
