You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
