This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
