I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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