thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
