Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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