and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
