eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
