He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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