He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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