I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I stole a fireplace last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
