So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
