thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
