Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
