So drunk, too bad you don't want this
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
