MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
