I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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