I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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