It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
