bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
