i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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