look no pants
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
