So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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