I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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