Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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