I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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