covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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