the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
