Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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