He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
