HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
