Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
